I will write some great placeholder text – and nobody writes better placeholder text than me, believe me – and I’ll write it very inexpensively.

I will write some great, great text on your website’s Southern border, and I will make Google pay for that text. Mark my words.

Lorem Ipsum best not make any more threats to your website. It will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.

Lorem Ipsum better hope that there are no "tapes" of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press! Does everybody know that pig named Lorem Ipsum? She's a disgusting pig, right? I know words. I have the best words.

Lorem Ipsum is the single greatest threat. We are not - we are not keeping up with other websites. Lorem Ipsum is FAKE TEXT!

You could see there was text coming out of her eyes, text coming out of her wherever. We are going to make placeholder text great again. Greater than ever before. Lorem Ipsum better hope that there are no "tapes" of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press!

I think the only difference between me and the other placeholder text is that I’m more honest and my words are more beautiful. Lorem Ipsum's father was with Lee Harvey Oswald prior to Oswald's being, you know, shot. Lorem Ipsum best not make any more threats to your website. It will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen.

Lorem Ipsum better hope that there are no "tapes" of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press!

My placeholder text, I think, is going to end up being very good with women. I'm speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I've said a lot of things. An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s placeholder text is a fraud.

This placeholder text is gonna be HUGE. Look at that text! Would anyone use that? Can you imagine that, the text of your next webpage?! Lorem Ipsum is the single greatest threat. We are not - we are not keeping up with other websites. We have so many things that we have to do better... and certainly ipsum is one of them. I don't think anybody knows it was Russia that wrote Lorem Ipsum, but I don't know, maybe it was. It could be Russia, but it could also be China. It could also be lots of other people. It also could be some wordsmith sitting on their bed that weights 400 pounds. Ok?

It’s about making placeholder text great again. That’s what people want, they want placeholder text to be great again. An 'extremely credible source' has called my office and told me that Lorem Ipsum's birth certificate is a fraud. Trump Ipsum is calling for a total and complete shutdown of Muslim text entering your website. This placeholder text is gonna be HUGE. He’s not a word hero. He’s a word hero because he was captured. I like text that wasn’t captured.

When other websites give you text, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending words that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing mistakes. They’re bringing misspellings. They’re typists… And some, I assume, are good words.

I know words. I have the best words.