WITH the coronavirus lockdown, kids missing months of school, teenage tantrums, money and job worries and a whole load of stress all round, has parenting ever been more demanding?

Throw in the fact you are a step or a ‘blended family’ – (couples getting together with kids from past relationships) cooped up together 24/7 and you could have a real headache on your hands.

Thankfully Tasha Thor-Straten is on hand to help. Tasha, 47, is a mum to two children and step-mum to three with her fiance Russell.

After becoming a blended family four years ago and setting up home together in Rochford, they have experienced some amazing highs and crazy lows – including Tasha being diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer just two months after they all moved in together.

After experiencing the usual problems that come with mixing two families together, Tasha decided to retrain as a Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Master Practitioner which has helped everyone communicate and behave better with each other – including their ex-partners.

Two months ago she set up ‘Blended Family & Co-parenting with your Ex-Partner’ Facebook support page and has been astounded by the amount of people across Essex in the same boat reaching out for help.

“I set the group up because I couldn’t find support for the types of situations and issues we are presented with daily.

"Within just five minutes of launching the group, six people wanted to join. Nearly 100 people are currently active within the group sharing their stories and supporting each other,” said Tasha, who had a high flying job in sales before retraining as a NLP practitioner.

In short NLP coaches like Tasha teach people to transform their lives, break down barriers and improve their family situations, their confidence and their moods by learning how to communicate better.

She can help diffuse the common problems that come with raising step-children and dealing with ex-partners- such as resentment or rows over household rules and discipline.

“It’s about understanding how to see events from someone else’s view, “ she added. “By separating behaviour from the person, by using appropriate language to enable the children to be open, it enhances the family set-up.

“This was a natural step for me as I have always been interested in parenting skills, reading many books, listening to podcasts and finding ways to make things easier for our family.”

When Tasha met Russell she was happy he had three children. In fact, it was one of the qualities she wanted in a partner – ‘must be a family man’.

They enjoyed six months of exclusive dating without children, then gently introduced the children to each other in September 2016.

In November 2016 they took the decision to rent a home together – much to the surprise and good-spirited caution of close friends and family. However, they were both comfortable with the decision, as things just ‘worked’. Their parenting styles and family values were very similar, so working out a plan for fun, behaviour and discipline was easy to navigate.

Just three months after moving in together Tasha, then a fit and healthy 44-year-old, was diagnosed with bowel cancer.

She said: “It was such a shock. I still remember staring at the tumour on the X-ray screen at Southend Hospital.

“The doctor said it had spread to my liver and lungs and there wasn’t anything they could do. They started talking about palliative care. It was scary.”

However, further scans showed that although the cancer had indeed spread, it was treatable – albeit through invasive surgery and chemotherapy. Fortunately, after six months of treatment, Tasha was given the all-clear in August 2017.

“This episode in our lives definitely helped to bring our family closer together,” said Tasha.

“And it made me realise how important the communication had been- in talking to the children about what was happening. Children aren’t stupid, they know what is going on. We never wanted them to overhear snippets of conversations and get scared so we were always honest with them.”

Tasha offers NLP-based parenting/relationship advice and one to one support, together with online classes.

“I really do believe that thesedays you can have a happy blended family,” she said.

“We just need to start communicating.”

Find out more at www.facebook.com/groups/856138588201139 or on Tasha’s website www. letsmaketime.co.uk/